You Are What You Eat

I was recently talking with another father who had lost his son.  His son was much older than Adam, almost done with college.  He was reflecting on some of the music and writings he found and how dark they were. He also had expressed admiration for another father who had been very strict on allowing his son access to the internet.  I had always felt that if you raised your kids the right way and instilled in them a strong moral compass that micro-managing your kid’s access to music and media would be counterproductive and that you could trust your kids until they gave you a reason not to trust them.  Given the proliferation of harmful content on the internet and how easy it is to get to it I am starting to wonder if my ideas on parenting were incredibly naive.  I can’t help but wonder if some of Adam’s issues were the result of some of the things he was reading and seeing on the internet.

I have read since Adam’s death that the numbers of teens dealing with depression has increased substantially.  One study says that five times as many high school and college students today deal with anxiety and mental health issues than the youth of the same age who were studied in the Great Depression era.  Adam had been diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression and was being treated by a psychiatrist who had last seen him in August.  The feedback we had received from this doctor was that Adam was doing well and had responded well to the anti-depressant and was moving towards a point in the future where he would no longer need it.  He had been on the drug for a while so the usual caution observed when people first start on these types of drugs was no longer in our minds.

Obviously, things changed for Adam from August to October and if I look back some of the books he was reading were not the most uplifting.  His interest in science fiction fantasy from a writing perspective caused him to seek out books that were on the darker side.  I assume this was also true for some of his internet interactions but mainly I saw him watching funny videos on Yahoo.  He was definitely picking up something that was not good for his soul but he covered his tracks pretty well on his phone and computers so I will never know for sure.

It is all speculation at this point and Adam’s decision to end his life was a multi-layered choice based on a lot of different factors including his mental illness and possibly the effects of the prescribed drugs he was taking but I do know in hindsight I should have been way more proactive with him on what he was reading and what he was doing on the internet with his phone and computer.  I trusted him and I do think for the most part he followed my wishes but even just consuming depressing, dark, violent content can harm our kids in ways we can’t imagine.  There are a lot of reasons why there is more depression and anxiety among our kids today but one thing I think we can do is to make sure they are not being overwhelmed by violent and dark content in their reading and gaming because I think it makes a difference especially in kids that are already vulnerable.

Just like what you put in your body nutritionally;what you put in your mind matters both for us and our children.  It doesn’t take much dark or violent content to pollute our souls much like the yeast in Jesus story to the apostles. “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough” Gal 5:9.  I don’t think you can be too strict given what is at stake and I would encourage everyone to begin open discussions with each other and your children about what you are consuming via books and social media too make sure it is not creating a sense of hopelessness and despair.