It is only natural to wonder when you experience a tragedy like losing a child what you did to deserve such a loss. Unfortunately due to the fact that we are humans there are numerous things I can find in my life that I have done wrong. It can be a brutal exercise to go through the inventory of the mistakes you have made and wonder if these shortcomings lead either directly or indirectly to the loss. We have mega pastors preaching that if you live a righteous life that God will reward you with prosperity here on earth so it is reasonable to assume when bad things happen that you must have done something to cause it.
To be clear I am an extremely flawed person. I don’t always follow God’s instructions and try and take things in my own hands. I am judgmental and lack compassion for my fellow man. I can be prideful and arrogant. Sometimes I lack faith in God. I do not spend my time in productive ways and do not take care of myself in a way God wants physically. All of these things flash through my mind each day as I wonder if my shortcomings and failings caused Adam to take his life or if this is some sort of punishment by God because of how I have failed as a human being.
Scripture is very clear on this topic. God made us and he understands we are broken. That is why he sent his Son to take away our sins since he knew we would never to be able to overcome them on our own. I am reading a bible study that takes you through the entire bible in a year. Ironically it just took me through Job. While I am not comparing myself to Job the subject is very relevant. God makes it clear that suffering and tragedy are not related to our character or actions. Everyone in the book assumes Job is being punished for his shortcomings and God lets them all know emphatically that this is not the case.
Sin can lead to suffering but it is more the result from doing the wrong things and suffering the consequences versus some sort of divine punishment. I am suffering for my sins but that has little or nothing to do with what happened to Adam. I pray God will forgive me and give me the strength to overcome my shortcomings and I ask for the courage to let Jesus into my heart to overcome my worldly ways. I know Adam is now in Heaven with God and pulling for me so I don’t want to let him down.
8 replies on “Crime and Punishment”
You are precious and you are becoming wiser and more beautiful every day. You have a great ministry. You are loved.
This is a good post. If you were not in church (GCC) yesterday, listen to Matt’s lesson on line. Cover’s the subject.
Thanks Charlie. I did listen and hope God will speak to me through this loss because right now I am lost and don’t know where to go. Here is the sermon if anyone else would like to listen.
The video is available for your viewing pleasure at https://vimeo.com/203732892
Steve,
I know that time hasn’t helped much in relieving the pain that you feel in losing Adam. I want you to know that you were the best Dad to Adam that I can imagine. The way that you provided Adam the opportunity to experience all that life has to offer as well as providing a great role model was admirable. I know that many times when I tried to spend some time with Adam, he was busy with you. When I was packing up your books, I never saw so many books on parenting, so I know it was important to you. I know that building a business the way you did was time consuming but you still found time to spend with Adam.
I want to share my favorite Bible verse with you. It has gotten me through some tough times. In Isaiah 41:10, God instructs us to: “Fear not for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am the Lord your God.” Then comes God’s promise: “I will help you and I will strengthen you. I will hold you up with my right hand.” I hope that you can find some comfort in this.
Adam was a shining star in our families lives.
You and Jeanne Anne have been towers of strength and an inspiration to us all.
2 Thessalonians 3:16
Dave Markle
You have no idea how timely and comforting your comment was to me. I was literally telling Anne how guilty I feel about Adam when your comment came through. Thank you for your stalwart support for us. You have been so helpful and present during this time and we are both so grateful to you.
Romans 8:1
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Steve,
I’ve been thinking about you and Phillipians 4:6 and 7. There God instructs us in verse 6, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;”. Then in verse 7 comes God’s promise: “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus.”
Not until recently did I notice the three words, “surpasses all understanding”. To me, emphasis on the word “all” sheds some new light on this promise. Think of it. “All” is a big word. It gives me hope that God’s peace is infinite, that we will never experience all of God’s peace.
My prayer is that you can claim more of God’s peace each day in every way.
God bless you, my brother.
Dave Markle
I am very happy that you have sought comfort in the word and appreciate your thoughts. I accept your prayers and hope likewise that peace comes to me and mine.