There was a story about a princess of Troy named Cassandra that angered the gods. Her gift/curse was that she could see the future but no one would believe her when she told them what would happen. It was a gift that would bring frustration and despair. Sometimes as I look back over my time with Adam I feel like there was a voice inside me that had that same gift/curse. If I only would have listened or believed that voice maybe things would have turned out differently.
I can specifically recall thinking only a few days before this happened that I was blessed with a 15 year old son who actually wanted to spend time with me and that if I didn’t take advantage of this fact I would regret it. By the time my daughter reached this age she wanted very little to do with me so I was acutely aware that this was an opportunity I was potentially missing. Edit: My daughter has requested I make note that she no longer feels this way and has been won over by my charm and wisdom. Unfortunately for me and perhaps Adam I did not act quickly enough on this thought. As I reflect on our time together I tend to fixate on all the things we didn’t follow through on. I look at all the sporting equipment and camping gear and my heart aches at the lost opportunities where I failed to engage with him and chose to do other things always thinking we would have time later.
I attended a book study with some guys from Austin Christian Fellowship. They were finishing up on the last chapter of a book from Joyce Meyer titled How to Hear from God. I was struck by a quote from the book, “Wisdom is doing now what you are going to be happy with later on.” I always thought I was pretty wise but based on this definition I feel like a fool.
I know there is nothing I can do to change my life with Adam. I also know that my mind is probably fixated on the things we didn’t do rather than the things we did. But I can promise you I would definitely not be feeling regret today over spending too much time with my son versus less. I just keep going over the lost opportunities where I procrastinated because I was too tired or too busy or distracted by other things that now seem meaningless. All I can say is listen to that voice in your head and you won’t be sorry. I am going to make sure to honor my son by not repeating that mistake going forward. There is nothing worse than knowing what to do and not doing it. That may be worse than the curse Cassandra bore.
2 replies on “The Power of Prophecy”
Steve,
I can so relate to this. This I idea that we will have more time with those we love. Always looking too the next day, thinking we’ll have the time. Even within my limited capacity, I feel there are so many opportunities I missed with Adam. I can only imagine how you must feel. I’ve been reading your blog and I wanted to thank you. It has been a comfort hearing your thoughts. And I am moved and inspired by your willingness to share this with others.
Love you and know my thoughts are with you Anne and Ashley
I know how sad you must be about the book but know that what happened with Adam was about him and a moment in time. His perspective on life was skewed and altered even positives into negatives. Learn the lessons this experience can teach and use them going forward to improve your life and others around you. Thank you for your thoughts we appreciate them and I look forward to seeing how your experiences with Adam will change your life.