I was listening to a friend describe the challenges of having his son living with him during our current pandemic induced reunion with our children and while I was sympathetic to his plight I was also a bit envious. Adam would be 19 right now and in the middle of his college career and I am sure he would be forced to come stay with us much like most if not all college students and some just out of college age young “adults”. While I am sure this presents a burden and a strain during these scary times I wonder how many people truly understand what a blessing it is for them to have their children close and what an opportunity they have to strengthen their relationship with their kids.
This is not a new topic for me but it is certainly worth revisiting. Under normal circumstances the pace of our lives is so rapid we rarely get the chance to stop and analyze what is really happening especially in our relationships with our spouses and children. This pandemic has pushed the pause button on most of our lives and given us the opportunity to spend time with those we love. I realize the fear and stress surrounding our current situation may prevent you from seeing this as a good thing but take it from someone who has experienced the ultimate tragedy in losing my son to suicide; this is a blessing for you and you should seize it with both hands.
We are very fortunate to have a wonderful daughter who has managed to navigate her way through a very challenging set of circumstances to emerge as a semi-autonomous adult. She is working as a nurse in Houston at Texas Children’s Hospital and is able to live on her own during this time. She chose to come spend her off time this week with us and I am so grateful for this opportunity to spend time with her even if it is limited for the most part to eavesdropping on her small talk with my wife. It is such a comfort to have her here.
I do realize having my daughter drop in is not the same as having unhappy frustrated young adults in close quarters at your house. I am sure they can be messy, argumentative, unappreciative, etc. Just know that this is probably one of the greatest gifts you will get in your life. It is an opportunity to have your children as a captive audience and a time to strengthen the bonds between you. Try to understand they are scared and stifled and take the time to listen to them and give them the opportunity to express their feelings. Ask them how you can work together to make this time the best it can possibly be and yield a result that will go far beyond the impact of our current circumstances.
Some of us are suffering real losses either of friends and loved ones or of jobs and income. Stress and fear is high but there are glimmers of hope out there that this ordeal will resolve and that we can bounce back. Your family is God’s best gift to help you get through these times. The opportunity to be together and slow the pace of our lives to strengthen your relationships is really unprecedented. Seize the day and make the most of this moment. It will be gone and the opportunity will be lost before you know it.